What am I Doing?
by CrystalNight1
Summary: The thought of Sav leaving to college scared Clare Edwards immensely.


**A/N: So, um. Yeah. I'm witting a lot of crack ships, huh? This is dedicated to the hilarious and lovely summersetlights here on FF. She ships Sav and Clare and now I ship them because of her, so...hm. This is what came out. Sorry if it's kind of bad (Lillie), I'm sick and it's hard to write about this pairing. asdfghjkl.**

**Anyway, REVIEW and tell me what you thought about it. It makes my day, guys. You have no idea.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Degrassi._**

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><p><strong>I.<strong>

It was at the beginning of the summer after eighth grade that Clare and Alli met for the first time.

Their siblings had arranged a tea party, Darcy going over to the Bhandari's with Anya one weekend when Mr. and Mrs. Bhandari weren't home. They were both shy to meet each other. Clare had heard things that Alli had done in past events that made her scared of the Indi girl. Alli, on the other hand, thought that Clare could be the perfect friend, for she was shy, which meant that she could be her balance.

Alli was wild and no one could stop her.

Clare was shy and calm and acted like an adult.

A perfect duo right off the bat.

Though Clare Edwards was young at the time, she noticed Alli's brother. He was so tall and lean and had large calloused hands. His hair was long and sharp. And when Clare Edwards returned home and tried to go to sleep, she felt herself dreaming being part of the Bhandari's family.

Sisters with Alli.

Wife of Sav Bhandari.

**II.**

When Clare Edwards started ninth grade, she knew for a fact that her goal was to get A's for the whole school year. No boys were going to be involved.

Especially when her crush was already taken.

Clare had the year planned out in her head, but turns of events turned it a hundred eighty degrees and she ended up in between Connor Deslauriers and KC Guthrie.

Oh, Clare Edwards had thought during her first kiss with KC. _It_ _isn't what I thought it would be._ And Connor was devastated when he found out, but the only thing in Clare's mind was Sav at the time, how he had fought with his girlfriend during that time period. And KC was long forgotten for Clare.

How did she end up being his girlfriend then? If Clare liked _him_, why was she with KC?

_It's a puppy love crush._

And when news of Anya McPherson and Sav Bhandari breaking up reached Clare Edwards' ears, she saw stars.

**III.**

Tenth grade eventually came by and Clare's crush on Sav disappeared when she met Eli Goldsworthy - a mysterious, dark, romantic and passionate eleventh grader that made her swoon.

She was free. She didn't need to worry about KC.

When they were assigned the project of Romeo and Juliet, her heart swelled up with happiness.

I'm going to kiss Eli Goldsworthy, thought Clare Edwards as they walked to the bench on the park. Eli agreed to take the part of Romeo, leaving Clare to be Juliet. Oh, when they finally kissed…It was like nothing Clare ever imagined. She saw sparks when their lips touched, warmth spread throughout her soul and body.

But happiness doesn't last too long, does it?

Eli and Clare's relationship after wards was rocky, with rough patches everywhere. He told her about his ex girlfriend, Clare took it in well – shocked at first, but she was compassionate about it. When Vegas Night came by, before winter break, Eli had kissed her, marking her as his. She was happy – well, that's an understatement. But at night, during the dance, when Fitz almost killed Eli, she was frightened to be with him.

But they made it work after the break.

And they had their first date and they got matching piercings. And he helped her with her parent's divorce and her with his hoarding and they were each other's rock and they _loved _each other. They were _there _for each other until he crashed his hearse for her.

But, if you knew Clare Edwards, if you saw deep into her soul, the whole time she was thinking about Sav. How he got Anya pregnant, but apparently it was a lie. How he started dating Holly J Sinclair and how they broke up.

_She wasn't over Sav, after all. _

**IV.**

The thought of Sav leaving to college scared Clare Edwards immensely. She hadn't had the chance to talk to him in the past two years and she had to do so. She got wrapped around Jake Martin, though, an old childhood friend to get over…well, _him, _and the year went pass quickly.

Him? That's up to you to decide.

One day during summer, though, when Clare was walking to the library, she bumped into a person. Not just anyone, but the man that has been haunting her thoughts for the past two years and a half.

She looked up and saw his brown eyes penetrating her soul. Oh, she thought speechless as he smiled at her.

"Baby Edwards," he said in a teasing voice.

She blushed at the nickname. "Hi," she said back at him, her smile bright and her blush a deep red.

"Care to talk?"

.

.

.

"So…yeah, that's what I'm going to do."

The duo had gone to buy some ice cream cones and went to the park and sat under a tree as Sav talked about what he thought to do with his future. Clare listened intently and looked up at the man with admiration.

_He's flawless._

"That's good," she said in agreement, making Sav smile down at her and scratch the back of his neck.

"Yeah, I suppose so, huh?" He said, looking down at the waffle cone.

Clare looked down as well, the ice cream melting slowly inside the waffle cone. She realized at the moment how the ice cream represented her…crush, if you may, for the man sitting next to her.

_My crush will melt eventually, leading to something that's better and greater. Once it's done for, I can move on with my life and…Oh._

Sav threw the cone across the park, people looking at them.

_Maybe not._

The older teen got up from his sitting position and dusted himself from the grass and dirt. "This is it."

Clare got up in a hurry as well, "I suppose so."

He leaned in awkwardly and hugged her. She, too, awkwardly reciprocated the hug. When they parted, she looked up at him in a daze. All her past relationships flew out the window at the time.

_Gosh, what am I doing?_

And - oh! - Clare Edwards was so happy when she got on the tip of her toes and leaned in to kiss him. To her surprise, he kissed back, pushing her gently against the tall tree. Her arms snaked around his neck, pulling him close to her.

She gasped when he moved away and grinned.

"God, I've wanted to that to you since the beginning."

With that said, Clare Edwards laughed.

_Oh...gosh._

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><p><strong>AN: What in the world is this, though? I blame you, summersetlights. No, but seriously, this is so awkwardly constructed, I can't even...**


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